Curious About Adoption?
Here you will find things to process as you consider adoption.
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Every family member should be a part of regular discussions about adoption and what to expect from a sibling. Give your children a space to ask hard questions and express their fears around adoption.
Talk through realistic expectations and relational dynamic changes that may happen within the family. It is important to keep open communication throughout the adoption process.
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Domestic Adoption
Eligibility for adoption varies based on the state you live in. Reach out to your local social services agency to find out more.
In most states you have to be 18 years of age with an 18 year age difference between you and the child. You must be a resident of that state and have full citizenship.
You can find out more information here.
Intercountry Adoption
Every country sets their own regulations for adoption eligibility. Flexibility will vary significantly with each country.
You can find out more here.
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An average adoption cost ranges between $30,000 and $60,000. Many people find this dollar amount daunting and unrealistic. Grants and other forms of financial assistance is available, but the dollar amount is something that has to be considered.
Children that are orphaned may have specific medical and emotional needs that can be challenging for families.
The paperwork process is long and there is often a wait involved. Because of these challenges, it can be difficult to handle and balance expectations.
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Openness in an adoption can vary and is usually based on the birth family for a domestic adoption.
An open adoption involves sharing the birth parents information with the adopted child and there is usually some level of connection in each other’s lives.
A semi-open adoption involves some communication with birth family, while withholding specific information.
A closed adoption withholds information about birth parents and adoptive parents. There is no option for ongoing contact.
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We encourage you to take some time and review some resources that will help you explore these questions and your feeling of readiness. A great step would be to read “The Connected Child” by Drs. Karyn Purvis, David Cross and Wendy Lyons Sunshine. You can find resources here.
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In this process you may decide that adoption is not right for you. Adoption isn’t for everyone, however you can always do something. Consider becoming a Wavemaker! Find out more here.
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There are Millions of Orphans in the World!
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What led you to consider adoption? Take some time with your spouse or family to consider what is motivating you to consider adoption, and what your fears and expectations with adoption. Fully embracing and processing these motivations and expectations will help you find the right direction for you and your family. Maybe it will lead to adoption or lead to finding a different way to care for the needs of children in the world.
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Expectations are inevitable. Realistic expectations about adoption are important.
Spend time thinking through your expectations for adoption. Are these expectations realistic?
Do these expectations have space for an openness to learn and embrace the needs of your future child?
Understanding expectations will help meet the needs of your future child.
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Adoption is life-changing. There will be a shift in relationships to accommodate and make room for a new family member. Open communication is important moving forward.
Consider talking to a counselor about adoption and the impact it could have on your children, your spouse/partner, or your life as a single individual.
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It is important to consider birth order when looking at adoption. In most cases, it is encouraged to adopt younger than your youngest child. Adopting older than your children can cause heightened struggles in the family adjustment and dynamics.
In cases where it is not possible to adopt in birth order, consider family counseling to navigate the challenges and adjustment.
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Sibling groups domestically and internationally are waiting to be adopted. There can be some benefits as comfort can be found in the current sibling relationships and can help with the transition.
Finances should be considered in this decision as well as time. There are emotional and attachment needs with each child.
Overview of the Adoption Process
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Take time to read, talk to people and assess your motivation and readiness to expand your family through adoption.
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The two main types of adoption are Domestic and International. Scroll below to Types of Adoption section for further information.
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Families will need to choose an adoption agency to facilitate the process. Take the time to research agencies so you can trust the integrity and practice of the agency before making a commitment. It is important to make sure the agencies are fully licensed. Click the link below for agency listings.
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After you choose an agency you will start to fill out required paperwork.
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Both Domestic and International Adoption requires a home study. This will involve a case worker interviewing you and your family and doing a home visit. There is also paperwork compiled in this process.
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You will work with your agency when the home study is complete to get the finalized documents based on the type of adoption. The time waiting for a referral will vary based on many factors. A referral will be presented to the family. If the referral is accepted the agency will work toward finalizing the adoption.
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After all paperwork is complete and the legal process is finalized the child can be welcomed into your family.
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Children impacted by adoption may have emotional and attachment challenges. Support can be helpful to best meet the needs of your child. For support and resources click here.
Types of Adoption
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Domestic adoption is within the country where you have citizenship.
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Foster Care Adoption
There are over 400,000 children in the U.S. in foster care with approximately 125,000 of the children needing a family. All attempts are made to place the child with a relative, this is called relative or kinship adoption.
Find out more about foster care here
Private Adoption
A licensed, private agency, will facilitate matching adoptive and birth families. Wait time will vary based on many factors. Also the type of openness in the adoption will vary.
Independent Adoption
Independent adoption occurs when the adoptive parents have a prior connection with the birth parents. They work independently with an attorney to facilitate the adoption.
Domestic Adoption
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International adoption occurs when a child is adopted from a country with a different citizenship than your own.
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There are many International Adoption programs. Prospective parents should understand that information about the child and their history will likely be limited.
International adoption is governed by three sets of laws.
U.S. federal laws
State laws
Child’s country of origin laws
The U.S. is a part of the Hague Adoption Convention, which also has laws that affect the process.
Click here for more information on The Hague Convention.
